Friendly Limerick Bonanza

There was a young girl of Penang
Who started a fashion shebang
She stayed up all night with her elves
And let them make clothes for themselves,
Then she cooked for them chocolate meringue.

Having eaten up all the meringue,
In the moonlight, they danced and they sang,
But as dawn started breaking,
The earth began shaking
The elves left all their clothes and they ran!

Unperturbed, the young girl sipped ginseng,
It was just a delivery van
Bringing stock for next night
No need for the elves’ fright
Though it suited just fine with her plan.

When the fashion dealership rang,
She struck a fine deal for her gang.
As light filled the skies,
She scrunched up her eyes,
That delightful young girl of Penang!

Painting: Nocturne with Elves (~1860) by Gustave Doré

More Friendly Limericks

Adapted from Peregrine (eyesblazeout): 

Painting by Alain Dumas

They arrested a girl from Racine

In flagrante with a huge coffee bean.

Though barely addicted,

She was tried and convicted 

And forbidden from touching caffeine

For Catherine (wistfuleden): 

Photo by Danny Simpson

There was a Canadian called Catherine

Who got gold in women's heptathlon

Though out-run and out-jumped

And her shot-put out-thumped,

Her javelin hit a cyclone to win.

For Ingrid (rabbitfriend): 

Drawing from Peter Rabbit - Tank Killer

The nature girl Ingrid was dreaming

When a rabbit came to her scheming,

"Dear lady, protect us,

The poachers have wrecked us."

So she gave it a rifle gleaming.

To the gentle Ingrid we give thanks

Though her gift of a rifle had blanks,

For now our rabbit-sons

Have learnt how to make guns

And our poachers are hiding in tanks.

Friendly Limericks

I’m now about to pack so I can escape to Spain today(!) to join my family on holiday. I hope you all have a fantastic summer, doing everything that’s important to you, and if possible having lots of fun.

The first five limericks are to whet the appetite… along with the sixth, they’re from the vaults again, dating back to 1992/3. The sixth onwards are especially for my first few contacts on Multiply. Apologies to my lovely more recent contacts... some of the rhymes were too difficult and also some of you I don’t know well enough. In fact, I don’t know any of you well enough, so please forgive the friendly fun, especially when I've completely made stuff up.

 

There was an old man of Bombay
Who to the world would grandly say,
“Stop all your turning,
Go and start learning.”
That learned old man of Bombay.

There was an old man of Taiwan,
Who lived in a granary barn.
He slept in the straw
And walked out at four,
That clever old man of Taiwan.

There was a young man of Laos,
Who loved to see utter chaos.
He made it himself,
With his little elf,
That troublesome man of Laos.

There was a young man of Moscow,
Whose greatest hobby was to row.
He went the same way,
On every day
In his room where rivers don’t flow.

There was a young man of Tibet,
Who lost thousands of pounds in a bet.
He pondered, he thought,
An idea he sought
And found two rupees in his net.

There was a man of the Philippines,
Who wore enormously long jeans.
He fell to the ground
And amazed he found
Emeralds as big as broad beans.

There was a young lady of Malaysia
Who designed buildings all over East Asia
The king gave her two hours
To make a palace of flowers
And she did because nothing would faze her.

There was a young girl of the West
Who loved everything that was best.
She sang so pretty
A sprite heard her ditty
And she was eternally blessed.

There was a young girl of Newfoundland
Who dreamed of warm nights on white sand
All her wishes came true
Right out of the blue
And she found that she was enlightened.

There was a young girl of Alabama
Who would run like a nail from a hammer
One day she was stilled
With Peace she was filled
And Love she showed even to a spammer.

There was a girl of the Malay
Who practiced the art of the Way
She sat very still
And focused her will
Till she taught her mind to obey.

There was a young man of Dayton
Who fought against the wiley Satan
He saw through the lies
Of Satan's disguise
That clever young man of Dayton.

There was a young dryad of the wood
Who went out at night when she could
She spoke to the stars
To Venus and Mars
And rejoiced when they understood.

There was a lady of New Delhi
Who couldn't stand the rubbish on telly
So she sat in a nook
Got out a good book
And read all the verses of Shelley.

There was a girl of New Orleans
Who tried to cure troublesome teens.
She took them for a swim
Showed them how to play Nim
And taught them to paint abstract scenes.