Compressed Works of Literature & Film

This is from the British radio programme "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue." More comedy from that programme can be read here.

Romeo & Juliet:
I love you.
I love you too.
I'm dead!
So am I!
No - Just kidding...oh bugger!

Brief Encounter:
Hello.
Hello.
I've got something in my eye.
Shall I get it out?
Best not, I'm married.
Oh, there's my train.
Goodbye forever.
Goodbye.

War And Peace:
God! I'm glad that's over!

The Matrix:
What's going on here?
God knows!

The Chronicles Of Narnia:
Isn't it funny what you find at the back of the wardrobe?

Waiting For Godot:
Do you think he'll come?
Probably not.

King Lear:
I'm going to leave it all to the girls.
You must me mad!
Oh yeah.

Pirates Of The Caribbean:
Arrh! Arrh! Ooh-Arrh! Ah-Haar!
What's going on?
I've got no idea.

Lord Of The Rings:
Every time I put this ring on, I become invisible.
Oh. I'd take it back if I was you.

Jon said: The redoubtable Jeremy Paxman, when asked what he would put in a time capsule, suggested a recording of "I'm sorry . . .", simply for the thought of future generations trying to work out the rules of Mornington Crescent. "I'm Sorry . . . " has to be the best comedy show on British radio. And Jack Dee does an admirable job of replacing Humph.