Rupa & The April Fishes

Born to Indian parents in California, raised in the US, India & southern France, and leading a double life as musician & doctor, singer/guitarist/composer Rupa Marya and her “polyglot band of musical renegades” concoct an enchanting mix of French nouvelle vague, rousing Latin grooves, Gypsy swing, and dreamy Indian ragas. And to top it all, I just love their intelligent lyrics.

Une Americaine à Paris (An American Woman in Paris)

Guy in the Background: 

there are not really differences, I think they are social constructions, we have all the same motivations, the same desires and it's a story of connecting...

a story of speaking, of changing ideas and realizing... 

that seems to me the most important thing, and tomorrow morning, you will be smiling

Main Lyrics:
after some days in silence
I did not say a word
and then I met you here in paris
sitting next to me in a bar
you just came from Algiers
and I from San Francisco
the world is crazy between us
you asked
aren't you afraid to be an American woman in Paris 

with all these angry Arabs
I said no, I'm not American
you are not Arab and we are not in Paris
the world is crazy between us
what do you think of this?
what do you think of all these stories?
these stories, these stories make us crazy

you wanted to take your photo with me
I said no thank you, no photo
I prefer life
I'm not American
you're not Arab and we are not in Paris
we are in life
the world is crazy between us

what do you think, what do you think, what do you think  

what do you think of all this

what do you think of all these stories?
these stories, these stories make us crazy

Trouble

well i've had a fine fine time
but now the moon and its strange light
have put a question on the table
and i know you know what i mean
i can see it in your eyes as they catch upon
something in me
oh that thing is trouble
oh trouble, yeah trouble, beautiful trouble
why don't you stay
i think that you should go
woah, woah
now don't you think that i don't find
everything about you so divine
but just one more moment here and
i'll be through
it's not your fault
and it's not mine
it's the moon and the sweet light
she brings tonight
oh my love, can't you see
she brings trouble
oh trouble, yeah trouble, beautiful trouble
the more i try to explain
the less i know
woah, woah, oh
(Instrumental)
well, it takes 1 to know one
and it takes 2 to tango
and it takes just a count to 3 to fall
out of time out of time
and the ground starts to dissolve
oh my love can't you see
i'm in trouble
oh trouble, yeah trouble, beautiful trouble
the more i try to explain
the less i know
yeah trouble, yeah trouble, sweet sweet trouble
where do i go i don't know
where do i go
woah, woah

Plus Que Moi (More than me)

Oh ma pauvre tete (oh my poor head)
peut pas comprendre toutes ces choses (can't understand all these things)
esclave de mes pensées betes (slave of my stupid thoughts)
enfermée par les histoires que je compose (enclosed by the stories that I write)
chaque matin, chaque soir (every morning, every evening)
poursuivie par l'idée qu'll faut que je m'explique (pursued by the idea that I must explain myself)
et j'essaie avec des histoires mais (and I try with these stories but)
quoi que je dise je ne dis rien (whatever I might say, I say nothing)
et quoi que je sache je ne sais rien (and whatever I might know, I know nothing)

Donc je les lance dans le fleuve (Therefore, I throw them into the river)
toutes ces histoires qui m'énervent (all these stories that annoy me)
et vois celles qui flottent ou s'enfoncent (and watch which ones float or sink)
parce que le fleuve est plus sage que moi (because the river is wiser than I am)

Et aussi mon estomac (And also my stomach)
devient entortillé autour de mes idées (become entwined around my ideas)
essayant de faire les choses plus nettes (trying to make things clearer)
je trouve que je les fais plus melées (I find that I make them more complicated)

Chaque matin, chaque soir (Every morning, every evening)
je me demande c'est quoi la verité (I ask myself what the truth is)
et j'essaye avec des histoires mais (and I try with these stories but)
quoi que je dise ce n'est pas ca (whatever I might say, it's not that)
c'est pas à moi de raconter ce que l'on ne peut pas (it's not up to me to tell what I cannot)

Donc je les jette dans le ciel (Therefore I throw them into the sky)
moi pieds sur terre tenant le bout de la ficelle (me, feet on the ground, holding the end of the kite)
et vois celles qui tombent ou s'envolent (and I watch which ones fall or fly away)
parce que le ciel est plus honnete que moi (because the sky is more honest than me)

Et quoi que je dise je ne dis rein (And whatever I might say, I say nothing)
et quoi que je sache je ne sais rien (and whatever I might know, I know nothing)
je les raconte a la lune (I tell them to the moon)
ici toute seule, toute la nuit (here, all alone, all night)
et apprends d'elle de la folie (and I learn from her of madness)
parce que la lune sourit plus que moi (because the moon smiles more than me)

Yaad (Memory)

 

Gracias a La Vida

A little poem in Spanish, subconsciously inspired by the famous song:

Gracias a la vida
Que no dura solo un día
Gracias al anochecer
Que nos enseña
Gracias a la alegría
Del amanecer
Y para la sonrisa
Del baile creer.

—okei

Translation:

Thanks to life

That does not last just one day

Thanks to the dusk

That teaches us

Thanks to the joy

Of the dawn

And for the smile

To believe in the dance.

 

Video: Gracias A La Vida by Mercedes Sosa. Words by Violeta Parra.

Kayleigh Goldsworthy

Kayleigh Goldsworthy’s a fantastic singer who should be better known. Her lyrics are nowhere on the web, so here’s sharing three of her songs.

Tennessee

Well there's a silence when you're looking at me
And I wish I could go back to sleep
But in this moment you won't look beyond the brown behind the black
Wide abyss in my mind and I'm turning back
Into the girl I always wanted me to be
Bathed in my sympathy, I'm begging to be clean
I'll send a postcard as I try to find my way
My ghosts behind me, I know that I'll make it through
And be oka-a-a-a-a-a-ay, be oka-a-a-a-a-ay

There's a light that's up ahead
And I'll be catching it the first thing in the mornin’
I'm on my way
Towards a southern town beneath the stars I'll wander every night
Tennessee, you've been the nicest place to me
 
Well there's a siren that is deafening
As I try to uncover where I've been
But everybody's second guessing
All the moves their pawns have made
And I laugh to myself at this mess I've made

I'm not the girl I always thought that I would be
And I've stopped holding all my breath on silly things
But all the years I've spent just trying to believe
That I'd make it out of here and on to something only
In my dre-e-e-e-e-e-eams, in my dre-e-e-e-e-eams.

There's a light that's up ahead
And I'll be catching it the first thing in the mornin’
I'm on my way
Towards a southern town beneath the stars I'll wander every night
'Cos Tennessee, you've been the nicest place to me

And I'm on my wa-a-a-ayea-a-a-ay-a-a-a-a-ay
I'm on my wa-a-a-ayea-a-a-ay-a-a-a-a-a-ay
I'm not the girl I always dreamed that I would be
But on my way to there I know I'll surely see
The mile markers as I drive down 65
Take me to somewhere that had always made me feel
Alive, oh alive

'Cos there's a light that's up ahead
And I'll be catching it the first thing in the mornin’
I'm on my way
Towards a southern town beneath the stars I'll wander every night
'Cos Tennessee, you've been the nicest thing to me

Where the Summer Goes

Riding by the river, I don't know where the summer goes
Or why you stayed the night and then you left me all alone
Still, I couldn't stay away even though you wouldn't change
Up your mind or your story in the morning

So these days I stay awake through the twilight every day
Take another hit of something just to ease this pain away
But I couldn't bear to breathe in the dust from when you leave
So I cried and told my heart to just keep beating

Two rights, well they'll never make a wrong
Unless you hold tight to what you shouldn't hold on
Because your mind will cloud the way make you think love's gone away
But cross my heart I'll hope to die before it's ending

Still I'm waiting every day though the answers never came
Tried to reach you through the mess of all mixed signals that you gave
'Cos I wanted to believe that we could have had something
But now I'm learning not to throw myself to the fire so suddenly

'Cos two rights, I don't know what's so wrong
Except you hold tight to fears you shouldn't hold on
And your mind will cloud the way make you believe the lies you say
Just to make you feel better while it's ending

oooh...oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh

You say you'd rather be alone than love someone when you get home
While I understand your reasoning, don't you think I should have known?
But now it's your fucking loss because you don't know what you've got
So I'll find a man who proves to me that now I'm better off

'Cos two rights, well they'll never make a wrong
Unless you hold tight to fears you shouldn't hold on
Because your mind will cloud the way. make you think love's gone away
But cross my heart I'll hope to die before it's ending
Just to make you feel better while it's ending.

Streetlights

It's getting colder than, colder than I've ever been
But that must be why you told me bundle up I guess
Until the streetlights take me in and make me one of them
Until the streetlights take me in and make me whole.

And yes, I miss a man, miss him more but mostly when
He used to call me down the stairs and when he'd take my hand
I used to think no-one would ever make me feel like that
I used to think no-one would ever make me whole

'Cos there's a darkness sleeping next to me
There's a lightness that I can't find
But now I see that you've gone from me
I never heard you leave

Well, I guess I should have left when I heard you talk like that
Well, I must have had you wrong, I thought I heard you laugh
Before the phone call that had ended all I knew of that
Before the phone call that had ended all of that

'Cos there's a darkness sleeping next to me
There's a lightness that I can't find
But now I see that you've gone from me
I never heard you leave

'Cos there's a darkness sleeping next to me
There's a lightness that I can't find
But now I see that you've gone from me
I never saw you leave
I never heard you leave

It's getting colder than, colder than I've ever been
But that must be why you told me bundle up I guess
Until the streetlights take me in and make me one of them
Until the streetlights take me in and take me home.

Self-Identity

These are dhamma notes based on a talk by Martine Batchelor, but any errors are "mine".

Mindfulness is awareness of the thoughts that arise and pass, not to get rid of thought, but to refine it. Are these thoughts useful to us? When the mind is at rest, brain scans show that a lot of brain activity is still happening for most people. But in those who meditate regularly, the scans show a very different, … quiet mind. This is not just true scientifically, objectively. Those who meditate regularly also experience that their minds are quieter.

So what are the rest of us thinking about? A lot of the time, self-referential thoughts: identifying ourselves (creating a thick sense of self — its likes, dislikes, needs, wants, fears, nationality, profession, gender, appearance, age, religion, the football team we support, the friends we have, the number of likes we get on social networks, our sense of being introverted or extroverted, liberal or conservative, wealthy or poor, restricted or free), also identifying others in the same way, even identifying how others might identify us. Often these speculations are completely wrong. Through practicing vipassana meditation, we can avoid the habit of what Martine Batchelor calls "selfing". 

Vipassana meditation is the act of just sitting, watching the thoughts arise and pass, observing the impermanence of these thoughts and the tendency of these thoughts to self-identify  ("I must do this", "I wish I hadn't said that", "I wonder what they think of me"). The purpose is not to stop these thoughts, but rather to question, are these thoughts useful? If a car is coming, we need the self-referential thought in order to react! The purpose is not to be rid of our sense of identity, but to be aware what kind of identity are these thoughts building? Are we outsourcing our identity to those outside of us? We are habituated to do this from a young age.

At the beginning when we meditate, our awareness radar picks up on negative thoughts. However, once these disappear, we can refine a positive healthy sense of self. The Buddhist idea of no-self doesn't mean no identity, just recognizing identifiers are just thoughts and are these thoughts useful? The best kind of self-identification are personal qualities and aptitudes which we can develop and become more proficient and self-confident in. Even these are impermanent, because our identities are always subject to change and dependent on conditions. The error we make is to mistake our state with our identity. Our identity is our creative functioning, not a permanent fixed state, but a capacity, for example to speak a language, to teach, to respond whatever comes up in a wise and compassionate way.

Martine Batchelor was once a French nun practicing Zen in Korea for many years, now a teacher of Zen. Both these, nun & teacher, were self-identifications for her. When under the needle, she became quite self-consciousness about her own nervousness, thinking "I'm a Zen teacher, I'm supposed to stay Zen" though she wasn't feeling Zen. Even a Zen teacher has distracting self-identifying thoughts... but she recognised them. It didn't make them go away, but then the doctor gave her a local anaesthetic and everything was fine. When she left being a nun, the experience at first was quite deflating, a blow to her sense of self-identity, but it also liberated her from that identity.

The Zen meditation technique they taught in Korea was to drop the question into consciousness, "what IS this?" not to find an answer but to experience the question turning you back to your whole experience in this moment and feeling in your whole body a sense of curiosity without affirmation, negation or expectation. The question is sometimes called the hwadu. Unlike the selfing thoughts that occupy and re-enforce our thick sense of self, the hwadu brings us back to experience, being with sensation without thought of "I" or "mine". 

Both Vipassana and Zen meditation help us to recognise selfing thoughts, bring us back to the moment and so develop quiet mind and a creative awareness of our inner self, creative so it's not fixed, but better able to respond to life in a wise and compassionate way.

Photo: Cast of Hestia from the Museum of Classical Archaeology in Cambridge's Classics Faculty