Black is the night of the soul
That knows not its path of redemption.
Blacker still the day untold
That's lost in dark reflection.
Cast off these robes that clothe in doubt,
On wings unseen, spread forth and fly.
Cast off the brilliance of the light
And vanish into orange sky.
Joy invisible imparts
Its tremulous grace upon the world,
Joyous in its own perception,
The image of the mind unfurled.
I am as felt in silent prayer,
The resilient one in stillness found.
I am the air on which you walk,
An echo shining on the ground.
--okei
That knows not its path of redemption.
Blacker still the day untold
That's lost in dark reflection.
Cast off these robes that clothe in doubt,
On wings unseen, spread forth and fly.
Cast off the brilliance of the light
And vanish into orange sky.
Joy invisible imparts
Its tremulous grace upon the world,
Joyous in its own perception,
The image of the mind unfurled.
I am as felt in silent prayer,
The resilient one in stillness found.
I am the air on which you walk,
An echo shining on the ground.
--okei
Wow Okei, This is profound
ReplyDeleteThe "I" in the poem is not I, though I wrote it, so I wonder if it makes sense.
ReplyDeleteThe last line might also read:
"Tread softly then upon the ground."
But I think I prefer that line how it is.
A playlist of songs by Loreena McKennitt.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant and profound Okei!
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah....I prefer the line how it is....the "I" is appropriate and works ;-)
Powerful words!
ReplyDeleteAhhh, this is so great dude!
ReplyDeleteThe "I" is not "I"... It's "U" ?.... hahahahhh! K, got it!
Thanks Cyn, Erica, Nancy & Jach! The "I" in my poetry is often "not I", or even if it were, it's one of those robes that I'm casting off. But really what I meant was feel free to criticize lines you don't like or don't agree with because "I" could have got things wrong. But people are usually far too nice here on Multiply to say what could be improved. Thanks Erica for your opinion on the last line. On one or two of the last poems I posted, I found myself constantly coming back and seeing new things that needed changing and improving - it's that self-doubt, lol (or rather you just see things in a new light with fresh eyes). But I found this poem just fine how it is and I'm really pleased with it. :^)
ReplyDeletethere is nothing to change in it Okei. Let it stand as is
ReplyDeleteNo worries, Cyn! It's standing. I'm just a tinkerer, but there's nought to tinker. Still, I am always open to new ideas, like on that squirrel poem which you helped me improve.
ReplyDeleteI did? I didn't do anything.. You did silly. Hugs
ReplyDeleteI haven't been coming to Multiply much lately. I really am going to have to come back if for no other reason than visiting your site and reading your poetry. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteAh! Thanks so much Lexie. I'm delighted to see you again. :^)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I'm going to be able to keep it up, but my time on Multiply this last year has been great fun. And this site and a lot of the poems would never have existed if it hadn't been for the gentle encouragement of my lovely contacts here.... encouragement just to be open to any inspiration that might come my way and make an effort to make something of it. I do often have the feeling that it's the last poem I'm ever going to write... perhaps inspiration will come again... but I hold no expectations. I just try to stay open. And if something comes, I'm just rushing to let you all know about it. :^)
So, a special thank you!
I hope you are not leaving okei?
ReplyDeleteNo Cyn, I'm letting be. The feeling of completion when I've written something is merely a state of allowing myself to start anew. Without expecting to write more... I'm no poet... I cast off all labels... while being open to any inspiration. I felt it also really strong after my Silent Haikus...
ReplyDeleteIf I am silent,
It is because I've nought to say
And cannot hide it.
But it's been just over a year now since I've been on Multiply, so I just want to take the opportunity of that milestone to say thank you for helping me find a voice. If it should return to silence, I would still be grateful for the ideas that came of it.
Happy Multiply anniversary
ReplyDelete;-)))))
ReplyDeleteThanks! Multiply tells me it was Nov. 21st apparently.
ReplyDeleteHey, how ya doing Cyn? Just gone through my inbox and nothing came up from you... so either you've been quiet or Multiply is glitching. I'll just check by your site and I'm waving hello and hoping your daughter is feeling better. :^)
I have not posted... Just waiting to post....been having trouble formulating my thoughts into words
ReplyDeleteYou'd posted about five things... but Multiply was glitching... I was getting Tiina and Lee's posts instead of yours! Delighted that things are looking better now. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteOh I thought you had seen those... I have not posted in a few days...
ReplyDeleteHow are you?
Ah, only two of those five were actually new, the rest updates.
ReplyDeleteAnd, I'm .... okei! :^)
LOL Hugs
ReplyDeleteMultiply hugs all round!!! :^)
ReplyDeleteedit: that was supposed to read multiple, but works either way.
lol
ReplyDeleteOh, Okei! This poem is lovely. Lorenna Mckennit is one of my VERY favorite artists. Isn't she wonderful? I am going to check out that vid you posted now.
ReplyDeleteThanks! That's actually a playlist of 6 or 7 of her songs, but for the first of them, l later found a much better video (imho) which I posted on Multiply.
ReplyDeletehttp://jamintoo.multiply.com/video/item/154/154