Thursday, 2 December 2010

Stringed Orchestra’s Limericks (Anonymous)

It’s getting cold now,
So let these playful verses
Offer light relief.

Enjoy love’s music,
But don’t ever imagine
That it’s original.

Passion plays the strings.
If you know his ways, you’ll know
His tune is stolen.

There was a young guitar player called Santo
Who was seduced by a girl who did panto.
As she lay in his arms,
She signalled with her palms,
“Second movement: adagio ma non tanto”.
There was a violinist from Rio
Who came home with a young girl called Cleo.
As she slipped off her panties,
She said, “No andantes,
I want this allegro con brio.”

There was a young girl whose frigidity
Approached cataleptic rigidity,
But if you gave her a harp,
Then she’d play Mahler’s C-sharp
And melt in complaisant liquidity.

There was a young lutist called Rick
Who took a girl home for a flick.
When the action ended,
   She drooled, “That was splendid,
But the climax was awfully quick.”

The cellist named Don would invite
    Young sopranos home for the night.
He tested out a few keys
Till her arias became pleas
To quit practice and sleep before light.

In slumber entwined before long
She laughed in her dream at her song,
But sunlight’s warm greeting
Awoke her heart beating
That the way he had played her was wrong.

She looked at him sleep by her side
And thought how she loved his great pride,
Then chose not to linger,
Nor relish the finger
That beckoned her on for the ride.


  1. Oooooooh... leg warmers for winter, eh? iiiiiiisssszzzz. Fantastic!

  2. Thanks Jach! I thought these were good also, but leg warmers don't seem to be the fashion this year. :^)

    A good weekend yourself. And a great time over Christmas... it's getting close now. The amount it's hyped up every year from months in advance, you forget about it and I still haven't got any presents.

  3. My brother in law brought home a book of limericks recently. They are silly.

  4. Ok, this is for you Ingrid in light of your rather paradoxical avatar of the rabbit-friend seemingly out shooting rabbits...

    The nature girl Ingrid was dreaming
    When a rabbit came to her scheming,
    "Dear lady, protect us,
    The poachers have wrecked us."
    So she gave it a rifle gleaming.

    To the gentle Ingrid we give thanks
    Though her gift of a rifle had blanks,
    For now our rabbit-sons
    Have learnt how to make guns
    And our poachers are hiding in tanks.

  5. LOL
    So cute and I love it adorably.
    Thank you.

  6. You're welcome! :^) I've done something productive today, haha.

    The second verse has now been tweaked the tiniest bit to make it better.